Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Today I was thrown out of the school concert.
By Madam Goh. (new vice principal)
because she caught me with my collar and cuffs unbottoned. Thrice.
Thereby I am showing open defiance of not just an ordinary teacher. but to the
school heads.
what absolute tosh.
I was in such shock when they told me that i forgot to apologise to the two fat heads
thews : Girl, it is obvious that you cannot obey us. SAY IT!!! SAY IT NOW! "I Cannot
Obey!!!!"
yan: (of course there is no way that i can say it, it would be a sign of acutally
obeying) I beg your pardon? (pretends to be deaf)
thews: *ROLLS EYES* Nevermind!!!!!! So do you have anything left to say (by then they've
already decided to remove me from concert. and i suppose they wanted me to apologise)
yan: thinks:OMG this is really happening what are we gonna do??? Concert's in TWO DAYS!!
poor Jia shyuan. what are the rest gonna do to fill up the holes????? says: NO
AAAHH!! So i realised later that I had to aplogise no matter what.
But i couldn't do it.
Firstly, I was not sorry and I did nothing wrong.
But I was pretty sorry that I did not say sorry before.
WHY IS IT WRONG TO UNBUTTON YOUR SLEEVES
IN HOT WEATHER AFTER DANCE PRACTICE??
even saying it in my head sounds ridiculous.
so eventually evrybody I asked told me to just go ahead to apologise.
I swallowed my pride (something i dont do often) and pottered off to the office
and was met with even more drama and nonsense
Apparently, some choir teachers blabbed that I had an attitude problem when they were in the office (about half an hour before me)
and that I'm aloof and snooty
and therefore am not fit to be in the concert
even if i was aloof and bla bla bla
WHY IS THAT EVEN A PROBLEM???????!!!!
and apparently I saved my mom's number as Queen E.
WHY IS THAT THEIR BLINKING PROBLEM???????!!!!!
I feel so betrayed. I dont even mind what goh accused me of being. Because they're not true.
I dont feel the need to rectify anything. I just feel betrayed that the ahem aforesaid choir teachers would
say it. why are they so childish??
they've got the opening act and their finale!!
Isn't that enough??????
and goh says i'm not wesleyan
but i dont want to be her wesleyan if i have to be spineless, grovelling and have to have to be ms sunshine
all the time.
I am our own wesleyan. The form's idea of wesleyan. just being us.
real people with individuality , integrity and reason
my heart is so tired of all the ridiculous unecessary drama that seems to dominate our live
I'm tired of trying
we're tired of trying
nothing we say makes a difference
I dont think she cares anyway
but it seems wrong to give up.
its against evrything that i've ever been taught to believe
that is:
you should never give up if your heart is true. because you will prevail in the end
but its hopeless
All i need is some kind of indication that she's trying too
But everyday evidence that she isn't trying grows stronger
and i ask myself why am i so blind??
cant I see that she doesn't want to try?
I feel stupid willingly blinding myself and believing that she wants to try as much as i do
but in the end i still have faith
a blind person can see what a person with vision cannot.
How now brown cows??
